10 rules to dating my son
Oh and he'll listen otherwise he'll get cut out of the will. Trust me when I say that paying your dumb ass child support for 18 years is far better than him marrying you and supporting you forever.I recommend getting married (the first time) at 30. Do not say, "Yeah......" Ma'am is not required but will earn you extra points. Mama bears are not to be trifle with lest we rip you from limb to limb. You haven't earned that right and if I see you doing it, you're likely to get a swift kick in the ass for your effort.10. But I can make it the worst event in the history of weddings if you piss me off.
By then, both parties should have their heads out of their asses.4. That's right, Sunshine, I'll talk to everyone who ever knew you from the time your wore Huggies until now. Approach us with caution and respect and no one loses an arm.6. I'm not saying my sons need to date rocket scientists but if you know more about, "The Bachelor," "American Idol," and "Oprah," than you do current events, then we have a problem. I will audition you and make Simon Cowell look like Mary Poppins. Oh they don't need to be rich or snobs but if they have a single wide they're real proud of then I'm thinking you are out of your league. If you are lucky enough to snare my son into marrying you, I better have some input. Things like your dress order being cancelled or the cake getting dropped or the invitations not getting mailed...know, STUFF.
If I don't get a, "She's a candidate for sainthood," report, you are out the door. I will not tolerate a dumb bimbo no matter how cute she looks. Seriously, one of the best quotes out of was when Scarlet was whining about not marrying Ashley and her dad was telling her that it was a good thing he wasn't marrying her. That whole, "girl from the wrong side of the tracks," worked in 8. No, getting married and having a passel of kids while my son works his butt off all day is not what I'm talking about. You'll want to do something with your life other than breed. Do not nag my son or dictate what clothes he should wear.
Said Pa O'Hara, "Like must marry like or there will be no happiness." 'Tis true. I don't care if you're an accountant, IT guru, or a classical pianist but you better have a piece of paper from a 4 year college with your name on it.9.
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Too young to know love from lust, funny from offensive, and often, respectful from disrespectful. If there are to be household rules on everything from borrowing mom’s car to where they go and with whom, shouldn’t there be rules associated with something as important as dating?
Besides, if I’m going to go on record and publish 14 rules for dating my teenage sons, you better believe my boys will have their own set of dating rules to follow.