9 pros cons dating pothead

29-Aug-2015 11:32

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I’ve heard from so many people who’ve been impulsive and then got into awful situations.It can be a quick slide down a slippery slope if you try to make a bad decision become a good decision by hanging around.If you’re going to daydream for half an hour and then spend the rest of the day beating you up, it suggests that nostalgia isn’t something that you can afford right now and that you need to nip it in the bud before it derails your day.Don’t combine nostalgia with being reactive because you will act first and then think later when the nostalgia has passed.This is how you get hurt by chasing a short-term high so you need to compare the pain you have previously felt versus any perceived joy. Would you be willing to put your hand back in the fire to experience those positive associations if it meant experiencing what you’ve already experienced in terms of the negative associations?Also consider the impact on you when you take these detours.

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Regardless of the experiences you may have with somebody, nostalgia may be catching you off guard.

It’s that sentimental longing or wistful affection for a past that you have happy associations with…

even if what you long for represents a small part of your overall experiences or is proving to be more about being nostalgic for the illusions and/or hope you had when you were together.

Lots of readers share stories with me about their struggles with nostalgia and while missing someone or feeling nostalgic is normal to a degree, where it becomes problematic is if you override negative associations or reality to the detriment of your self-esteem.

The slot machine of good times versus bad times is why some people can find themselves in very toxic relationships waiting for that ‘high’ to come around or put their hand in the fire of going for a re-run with a Returning Childhood Not-Such-A-Sweetheart.

Until you’re in a safe place where your feelings and thoughts pop up but they don’t derail you and you’re able to respond to them with some self-care and a gentle (and possibly sometimes sharp) tug back to reality, it’s best to treat nostalgia like that guest that likes to drop by whenever they feel like it and will overstay their welcome if you’re not mindful. It’s a shame that you’ve popped around unexpectedly but you can only stay for 15 minutes and then I’ve got to head off as I already have a previous engagement with real life.” You can do the same with feelings of rejection and then you’ve got to kick out your guest because they won’t leave until you very firmly ask them to / chuck them out or you replace them with happier house guests.

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