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10-Dec-2015 07:41

Have you tried all the traditional ways to find someone special in Indonesia?

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The standard lie is she had been a cherry and that you were the first!! If an Indonesian woman needs reassurance about her bust size, just say they are fine.

You don’t want to emotionally cripple the poor thing for life (or pay for breast implants).18.

The average yuppie woman in Jakarta owns 27 pairs of shoes (in addition to 3 pairs of aerobic trainers), 19 bras, 38 pairs of panties, 67 T-shirts/tops and 25 pairs of jeans.19.

If you’re playing around, gain her trust by calling her at 10 P. She’ll go to bed happy you’re thinking of her, even if you’re getting pissed.20.

If they're going to cheat on you, most Indonesian women do so between the ages of 18 and 64.14.

According to the Indonesia Bureau of Statistics, 43 percent of 18- to 34-year-old Indonesian women live with their parents. Be especially careful of whose namecards you have in your wallet, the shenanigans on your hard drive and the names of your “contacts” in your handphone.11.

Thirty-two percent of women in Jakarta now color their hair, according to Estee Lauder (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 68 percent).6. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a nasty fight with you for no reason whatsoever. But tire treads usually spell big trouble of course.8. A lot of Indonesian women like dodgy Indonesian pop music. Indonesian women will spend hours on a treadmill but they don’t like walking. I once had to waste 30 minutes sitting in a taxi to get to the Hard Rock in horrendous traffic rather than use the bridge over Jl Thamrin.13.

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Unlike Western women who can’t drive to save their lives, Indonesian women are the best drivers in the world. So be very very careful if she invites you back to her place or you might get much more than you bargained for.4. Over the course of her life, an Indonesian woman will use 10 men for every one she loves.

I know this because my woman overtakes other cars at 130kms/hr on the inside safety lane of the Jakarta-Bandung toll road while, at the same time, keying in SMS text messages.2. Indonesian women think dark skin is bad, but they still adore Anggun.5. Tattoos used to be very very bad but have become more acceptable in recent years (especially small artfully done works). “Sexy” is best and “Sayang” is cool, but “awesome” is okay when she’s slightly pissed.9. If you’re paying for her younger sister’s education and you’re not getting any rewards yet, you're one of the 10.12.