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If you like video games so much that you want to fulfill every last stereotype about them, then Datecraft is where you’ll need to look for love.Clearly, anyone who’s a isn’t fit for normal human interaction—they need their own special dating site, where their unwashed pallor won’t spook the regular people.There’s nothing wrong with sharing a mutual interest, but unless you spend your free time writing Ayn Rand fanfiction and trying to convince people that the movie wasn’t terrible it’s probably not the most relevant part of your personality.The Atlasphere feels less like a genuine dating site and more like a place for people to tell each other how awesome they are for liking Ayn Rand.Finding love is hard, and it’s even harder when you’re only attracted to Asian midgets with Parkinson’s disease and a lisp.In the old days you would have died alone, but thanks to the Internet we now know that no matter how insane your tastes are there’s a community out there that shares them.Are those the sort of people we really want to be reproducing?If the most erotic movie you’ve ever seen is and your idea of a hot first date is swapping DNA in the literal sense, then Scientific Match is the place for you.
When you sign up you’re sent a collection kit—just swab your mouth, mail it back, wait for the analysis, then start looking for partners based on mutual results.
It’s all the awkwardness of Internet dating with the added fun of a science project! There are real advantages to dating with science, as explained by the site’s “6 benefits of scientific matching.” The number one benefit?
“Chances are increased that you’ll love the natural body fragrance of your matches.” Wait, is this secretly a dating site for people who refuse to use deodorant?
If you’re having trouble finding a romantic partner, don’t despair—you’re not a hideous freak (probably).
You just need to give one of these dating sites a try: in college and decide you were destined to change humanity? Then you might find love at The Atlasphere, the dating site for hardcore fans of Ayn Rand!
Datecraft’s homepage shows pictures of the latest 15 visitors, and at any given time the collection fulfills every sad cliché about lonely gamers.