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Many of the guys who contacted me for dates were engineers, but there were also men from different backgrounds.Turning to online dating Often when a woman gets close to 30 and is single, family and friends feel compelled to get involved by introducing guys and arranging dates.But being an immigrant and so far from family, my social circle is relatively small.To my surprise, I found that far from being undesirable, I was actually quite popular on American dating sites.On average, I received about five contacts per day during the first three months.The pressure from their families to marry is often intense, and only becomes more so during the holidays.On Chinese New Year, for example, when entire families typically get together, it’s not uncommon for a “leftover woman” to be asked questions like, “Why are you still single? ” As if that weren’t enough, Valentine’s Day comes along shortly thereafter, and the torture is inflicted all over again. Master’s Degree and my overseas work experience make me undesirable on the dating scene in my Taiwanese hometown, where men are turned off by my age and may even question my fertility.
Feb 14, 2014 Sheng nu is Chinese for “leftover woman” -- a term used to describe an unmarried woman, usually over the age of 30.These women are usually well educated and successful in their careers, yet are perceived as losers by mainstream Chinese society.Most of the people I know are from work, but a workplace relationship would probably be more trouble than it’s worth.I figured that a better idea might be to use online dating sites where I could meet new people.
As a thirtysomething Taiwanese immigrant woman who has lived and worked in the San Francisco Bay Area for the last six years, I know the pressures associated with being labeled a sheng nu. In traditional Chinese culture, men are more likely to seek a submissive woman to build a family with.
In that context, a “leftover woman” like me is just too much of a risk.