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06-Jul-2015 07:56

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You know something’s off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Well this same theme plays out in many different ways in relationships.Maybe you don’t check her phone, but you look through her emails instead.As someone that’s lived through this scenario, I’ll start out by saying that you’re missing the point. Perhaps your girlfriend suddenly added a password to her phone.Perhaps she’s been spending time with friends more often, or is being secretive and vague when you ask her questions. Your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, your eyes laser beam over to her cell phone, and before you know it, you’re scrolling through her text messages, looking for a reason you feel a knife twisting in your gut every time she says she’s going out with friends.

So for all of you considering checking your partner’s phone that haven’t yet pulled the trigger: Don’t do it.

Stop trying to control the situation and start taking responsibility for what you can control: YOU.

But I am saying that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck: It’s probably a duck. Once you realize that the way you feel about a situation is enough of a reason to change it, you start to take more rapid & honest action! I love the point of speaking up and being honest about it.

If you’ve checked the phone and there’s nothing there, this is still your issue. I remember last year when my girlfriend told me her ex-boyfriend got hired at her workplace, I initially felt a bit uneasy and I was worried I may be jealous later, so I told her upfront that I was ok with it (not that it needed my approval or anything) but I’ve had jealousy issues in the past and wanted to just be upfront with her about my history so we could have open communication about it.

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For all of you that have already checked the cell phone, and that stumbled upon some suspicious text messages or phone calls, I gently say to you wake up. Figure out what’s really going on, and if that twisting feeling won’t go away do not ignore it. I try every day to face things head on like you suggested here, & it has worked wonders in my personal life!I’m not saying to approach your partner with boxing gloves on, ready to fight. Reply Dan: It’s awesome that you’re starting to face things head on in your life. At the end of the day, your ability to do this all boils down to self-trust & self-worth.

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