Dating relationships and the demandwithdraw pattern of communication
A few years ago, Bruce and Melinda Williams had a big fight on their second wedding anniversary. Williams was on the road for work and didn't call home until evening—then forgot to mention the anniversary. Williams let her husband ramble on during the call. When he was getting ready to hang up, she reminded him of the date and told him she was deeply hurt. It is suggested that an attachment perspective can shed light on why problems emerge in relationships, on why people behave the way they do in relationships, and on who is at most risk for relationship problems. As has been noted in numerous places in this volume, attachment theory has become a prominent theory for understanding functioning in adult romantic relationships.Since the publication of Hazan and Shaver's (1987) seminal paper describing the application of attachment theory to adult romantic relationships, research demonstrating how attachment security affects relationships has burgeoned.Because a behavioral approach to treatment has been the most dominant of the empirically supported treatments, this chapter was written with more behaviorally oriented practicioners in mind and pays particular attention to what an attachment perspective has to offer to them.The chapter describes three ways in which attachment theory can inform behaviorally oriented models of relationships and couples therapy.
This study examines the link between communication and self-verification in marriage.A theoretical model that explains the relationships among disconfirming communication, perceptions of self-confirmation, and marital satisfaction is proposed and tested.