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The craziest part is that gender doesn’t seem to matter, because both men and women alike post pictures that send the wrong messages if their true goal is to find a good partner. Intelligence, attractiveness, and professional success are universal turn-ons, so it’s wise to be open about your strengths. The goal with your photos should be to show people your personality. (I don’t know about you, but the first guy sounds like a lot less trouble to me.)Ladies, You Too!
I wish I could blame bad romantic judgment on just one gender, because that would mean there are fewer people out there making self-destructive romantic decisions.
The rest of the session kind of ran itself, you can imagine. For example, posting pics of yourself swimming, boxing, or even lifting weights tells the world that you like the actual practice of sports and that you’re probably pretty body- and health-conscious too.
So nothing was out of the ordinary when a female client in her 20s came to see me because she’d been blown off and hurt by a guy she really liked.“I saw his profile pictures, and I guess I should have seen the red flags,” she said sadly as she played with the zipper on her pink hoodie.My client, whom I’ll call Abby, was beating herself up because she had not seen from the beginning that the guy she’d been out with twice was a “player.” Abby continued to show me a few more of his pictures.“Hold on a minute!” I protested as she flipped through a couple that were, uh, problematic.Because the media is full of so many disturbing images of females already, women should be careful to send a positive online image of themselves as smart, capable, and strong. If you have a truly healthy ego, meaning that you like yourself well enough and you don’t have problems being consistently nice to yourself or others, you simply wouldn’t need to flaunt your strengths.
What’s more, most men find women like that so much hotter in the long run anyway. Include a photo of you and a friend at the beach, but don’t post the one in the sexy pose that zooms in on your chest and crops out your friend’s face! If you’re not someone who would ever—like, e-v-e-r—post pics that make you look promiscuous, boozy, or superficial, you probably have a theory about why someone would do such a thing. With such confidence, you care far more what you think about you than what anyone else thinks about you, and that vibe paradoxically attracts others in droves!
At the end of the day, it’s perfectly fine to post pictures of yourself that cast you in an attractive, interesting, and fun light.