Dating someone with borderline personality
Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time, and in severe cases, on the border between reality and psychosis.
Your illness distorts your perceptions, causing antagonistic behavior and making the world a perilous place.
For them, trust is always an issue, often leading to distortions of reality and paranoia.
You’re seen as either for or against them and must take their side.
Unlike bipolar disorder, their moods shift quickly and aren’t a departure from their normal self. Their emotions, behavior, and unstable relationships, including work history, reflect a fragile, shame-based self-image.
This is often marked by sudden shifts, sometimes to the extent that they feel nonexistent. Thus, they’re dependent on others and may frequently seek advice from several people about the same question on the same day.
Don’t dare to defend their enemy or try to justify or explain any slight they claim to have experienced.
Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes accusations and anger, jealousy, bullying, control, and breakups due to the insecurity of the person with BPD. They fluctuate dramatically between idealizing and devaluing you and may suddenly and sporadically shift throughout the day. Their intense, labile emotions elevate you when they’re in good spirits and crush you when they’re not. If you’re on the outs with them, all their bad feelings get projected onto you.They can be vindictive and punish you with words, silence, or other manipulations, which can be very destructive to your self-esteem.The pain and terror of abandonment and feeling unwanted can be so great that suicide feels like a better choice.If you like drama, excitement, and intensity, enjoy the ride, because things will never be calm. They have the quintessential Jekyll and Hyde personality.
They’re desperate to be loved and cared for, yet are hypervigilant for any real or imagined signs of rejection or abandonment.It is common for them to cut off relatives or friends who “betray” them.