Dating without the internet


31-Aug-2015 03:29

It’s time efficient - simply go online in the comfort of your own home and view hundreds of potential partners on any number of dating websites catering for every possible taste.

And it’s convenient - you can narrow the search for a partner by listing what you will and won’t put up with.

There’s only been one girl in this year without the internet.

But the biggest advantage of online dating is also the biggest disadvantage.

On the upside, it means the people you meet are likely to be more compatible with you than some random guy you meet in a bar who you know nothing about.

Chemistry alone won’t guarantee you a great relationship but if you have it, you’re streets ahead of the couple who don’t.

By all means date online - it’s a highly effective and successful way to meet a partner.

On the downside, it feeds into our already rampant expectations that there is indeed a perfect person out there who will tick all our boxes. You’re effectively making a list of all the characteristics and features that make up your idea of the perfect person: hair colour, height, income, likes, dislikes. Believing in Mr Perfect is about as silly as believing Christian Grey really does exist.

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and let me save you a whole lot of bother by telling you this straight up: there is no perfect person out there for you because there’s no perfect person out there for anyone. Even if you end up falling head over heels for someone and they do seem perfect at the time, when the love hormones wear off, there will be one or two areas where he won’t be flawless. And this is the other great failing of online dating: it discounts one very important, extremely powerful variable - chemistry.

Chemistry is what’s responsible when you meet some guy who is totally not your physical type and the complete opposite in personality to guys you normally get on with - but you don’t care.