Dealing with online dating rejection
Granted, for some people, a more heavy-handed approach is necessary. Polite is good, but if it doesn’t work, try sterner and firmer. If you need further coaching, go to your local electric company’s customer service department and see how it handles you when you try to dispute a bill by saying, “I never used that electricity.” Many appropriate ways are available to encourage someone to move along. This article points out the major ways to do so in specific situations.Say that you get an e-mail from someone, and you can tell immediately that you have no interest in communicating with that person.The best way to avoid this sort of thing is to kill people with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it.Say that you’re in the midst of a phone call with a prospect (after some e-mail exchanges), and you realize that he or she just isn’t a match.The Internet-appropriate action to take is to simply say“I need to stop now. If it’s an argument telling you why you are a match, simply sign off. Regarding the third action, no stranger is worth any emotional investment on your part, especially negative ones. If someone has really incensed you, avoid further trouble even though you’re anonymous. They are unlikely to go postal on you, but some people are sufficiently sick to do some serious libel and slander.I’ve enjoyed chatting with you, but I don’t think we’re a match. Some people flame others by sending e-mails, warning people of a person’s supposed bad character. He is [insert issue here].”) Although you could sue them for defamation, who needs the grief?On some sites, the person also knows that you deleted it.Say that you’re in the middle of an Instant Messaging (IM) exchange, and you realize that the prospect just isn’t a match. And for the record, the inappropriate actions are Regarding those first two actions, your prospect would probably think you had computer problems and keep trying to reach you, which isn’t what you want. And regarding the porno action, sending pornographic material can be construed as harassment and get you into a heap of legal trouble.
As with real life, you must do it quickly — and with a modicum of kindness, if possible.Here are the Internet-appropriate ways to say no: Note that Internet dating sites vary in the sophistication of their features.On some sites, the person knowsthat you received his or her e-mail and read it.By Judith Silverstein, Michael Lasky The Internet is a strange place, and what seems abnormal for in-person experiences is completely common on the Internet.
Notice that the word is common, not polite or considerate.
The appropriate actions to take include Occasionally, you’ll run into people who just won’t stop contacting you even after you’ve rejected them.