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28-Oct-2015 05:36

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It is only a wallet that can make a short man tall enough to date a tall lady from Machakos.To some women, dating a short man is like a banana split with chocolate and pineapple sauce between it.“This one might,” she wrote back and I got curious. I believe in reincarnation (and that Le’ Kenyan clown is certainly coming back as an albino Walrus) and if I ever came back as a woman, I wouldn’t date a man called John. We spoke about how it all started, how his personality informed his successes and failures at Safcom.So she sent me the link of this social forum that I won’t mention because it might dignify the racket they run there. We spoke about management, about handling people and about Elephants, his favourite animal. And at the end of it all, one lesson easily buoyed on the surface for me, one that managers here might find useful.Look, I’ve heard and read a few things about me floating around out there, most of them resoundingly uncreative, the sum total of idleness destructiveness. I read the thread and it struck me that I must have a doppelganger out there because everything about the details was queer (not intended). His name, it was revealed was John and I wondered if I often buy him flowers. The discussion also revealed that I have two tois (the other, I assumed, with John) and that I often show up there on Fridays in a very loud Subaru (louder than my pants? They went on and said; sometimes I spend the night in his room (Right, on those tiny bunker beds? ) And that when I travel I often take John along with me, (of course, John loves Giraffes). Conversations are boundary-less, interviews are structured. With Michael, when you ask a question that is even beneath you, he will remind you.So I told her that there isn’t anything that anyone will write about me now that will entirely unsettle me. They said my girlfriend (boyfriend in this case, I assume) was in JKUAT (seriously, JKUAT? It went on and on, this narrative, with the onlookers online inciting for more information by stoking the fires of this person with the moniker Le’Kenyan. It’s foolhardy to “defend” myself to such lore, but I just want to say one thing. And if you have 45mins with him, it’s going to be 45mins, not 46mins, so you don’t have time to murk around. So when last week I was asked to interview him again, I prepared by writing down my swalis.

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Even women who are not tall would want to find someone close their heights or taller.

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