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With only hours to go before Americans elect a new president, North Korea has already consigned Barack Obama's administration to the 'cesspool of history'.
The official KCNA news agency claimed Obama (pictured, with his wife Michelle arriving in Washington last night) was leaving the White House with the US in a state of 'crisis'.
The plan, called the Korea Massive Punishment and Retaliation, would 'directly target' key North Korean sites and the country's leadership, if any sign of a nuclear strike on South Korea was detected.
The Ryanggang Hotel in Pyongyang - which is described by locals as a 'first class' establishment - has received negative reviews on Trip Advisor , with guests describing it as 'dirty,cold and hideous'.
Pictures released today show the despot cheerfully surveying varieties of corn and rice grown on a state-run farm - despite 140,000 North Korean citizens being in 'urgent need of assistance' due to floods.
Satire towards the leader's regime 'will not be forgiven' according to a source, who said mass meetings have been arranged by central government authorities to issue warnings on citizens' everyday conversations.
Typhoon fighter jets will first fly to Misawa Air Base in Northern Japan.
The extreme exercises include being beaten with sticks and smashing bricks with different parts of their body.
British warplanes will begin exercises in the Far East this weekend in a bid to strengthen defence cooperation in the region.