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When I suggest that to the over-40 single women in my dating workshops and coaching programs, I can see them cringe.
Most of these otherwise outgoing women have no idea how to flirt with men, nor do they want to. Granted, it takes a different approach, but everyone likes to be complimented.
That tells him that you’re willing to be open and not take things too seriously. ) Tell him that you’re excited about taking your niece to the park and swinging on the swings with her. This may be difficult for you; it is for many women. You’ve got to get over this if you want to help men get to know you. (At least the good guys do.) He’s only going to know how fabulous you are – and if you’re a good match – if you get some of your shiny stuff out.
When you write, let him know some real stuff about you.
A confident, grownup good guy needs to hear more than you think he’s cute or you like his dog.
Tell him you agree with something he says; ask his opinion; let him suggest a book or restaurant; tell him you appreciate his jokes or that his business sounds interesting. I recommend that my clients ask and answer this question out loud: What do I like about him and what do I want him to know about me?
They consider it quite childish, bordering on classless. That means online you’ll never hear from him again, and offline he might ask you for lunch; but that’s all you’re going to get. When you see a man you’re attracted to, you want to be seen as a w-o-m-a-n! Men love to know that you consider them to be smart, capable, fascinating and funny.
I have news for you: Here is what you get when you don’t flirt with nice men: a nice conversation. You want to be seen as someone he will consider asking out. A sincere compliment in those areas will give you a huge step forward toward connection.
No matter your age, the way to connect with a man in the “I think you’re hot and would be interested in going out with you” way is to flirt.
It’s as true online as in person; flirtation isn’t about being a tease, it’s about showing your interest and curiosity – and piquing his.