Quotes on playing the dating game

22-Jun-2016 00:53

For those unfamiliar with Pokémon, two things: firstly, congratulations on having more of a life than I. Secondly, please understand that when you play the game, you come across literally hundreds of computer-generated characters who initiate battles by using some kind of unintended innuendo; anything from “I might be little but I won’t like it if you go easy on me! I, for some reason, thought it would be fun to not do any of these things and instead spend my free hours on the world’s most notorious gay dating app Grindr, speaking only in Pokémon quotes. Quite often my opening gambit – something along the line of “Me? And yes: I did it just for the benefit of a potentially entertaining blog post. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents.

A lot of people, especially those who were just looking for casual chats and potential dates, obviously thought I was weird.

My final conversation before throwing in the towel was with a couple of mates who wanted someone to join them for a threesome. I genuinely just thought it’d be a laugh to throw two very different worlds together and see what happened. I hope anyone I spoke to who sees this will find it funny too, although I’ll certainly never play Pokémon with the same childlike innocence again.

Using it, however, is not for the faint of heart: my Pokémon persona was sent more than one explicit photograph in response. I’m not trying to make a point about Grindr or shame anyone who uses it for sex, as I fear some may assume.

Perhaps the most useful Pokémon line proved to be “Fine, then! ", which is a ready-made response to the avalanche of sexually suggestive opening lines people send through on the app. I’m not into this” as a way of declining, but they weren’t having any of it: turns out one of them has a wife who was out of town and they still wanted me to join them for extramarital shenanigans.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness.

Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.” – Psychology Today So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.