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29-Feb-2016 01:37

Jealous your BFF is with your one-night stand from four years ago?

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That broad definition of a man who was once important but is no longer includes anyone who paid for dates for a woman in my wide-reaching circle of friends, all of their exes (of course), jump-offs, one-night stands, and any person I was aware that a current associate was crushing on, whether he’d expressed mutual interest or not. And when asked by a woman not to pursue, take the loss. The Dating Code of Honor is less about a preference for having penis in common (not preferred) with your Facebook friends and more about opening up a wider dating pool, lest single ladies be forced to dabble with old men, mean men, broke men, and all other undesirables for the sake of meeting someone “new.” I set forth the following: Article 1: Married folk must remove all exes from their personal basket and return items to the shelf for consumption by the general market.His associates are fair game without asking permission.Article 8: In the case of a man who has been “claimed,” i.e., an interest has been expressed, but a return interest has not been expressed, said man is in play of friends and associates after a period of seven days. Lucas is the founder of ABelle In, where she muses almost daily on dating, sex, and relationships as well as pop culture and women’s empowerment. How can you turn an awkward first date with the man of your dreams into the relationship you’ve dreamed of?

Associates don’t need penis in common any more than friends do. But as the dating game continued, my social life kept expanding, and Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, Linked In, and other social networking sites continued to unite the world in one common group associate-ship, it became increasingly difficult to meet anyone who hadn’t already known someone I was just meeting in the biblical sense, much less paid for a few dinners or drinks. Upon entering a monogamous relationship, they must release all exes with whom they parted ways more than three years back into the open market for general consumption.

I also realized people held claims on people that were, frankly, ridiculous. Article 3: All college boos must be released back into the open market for general consumption at three years post-graduation.