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You may be wondering, who could be so petty, so treacherous, so damn evil? Don't you hate it when they say stupid shit like, "You need to do something about that gut," and "Isn't that your fourth slice of sweet potato pie?
" No, bitch, it's my fifth, and I may go for a sixth. That's probably why we've got brothers standing in line -- plenty of them -- and their skinny asses can't get a return phone call.
I guess nibbling lettuce cups and tofu steaks makes folks do some hateful shit. Well, if those toothpicks can celebrate their minimal assets, then I'm going to flaunt this mega-masterpiece, too, all 220 pounds of it. So is a cute, CURVY girl who knows how to work her shit.That's why you won't catch a skinny bitch apologizing for being too damn thin. Shit, I'm so FLUFFY and FABULOUS that if I were to walk into a room with Iman, Naomi, Tyra, and even that original skinny bitch, Barbie, I'd strut my stuff with the grace, finesse, and attitude of the world's finest high-fashion supermodel. Those trees haven't got shit on me, except maybe an eating disorder. Happy to be a THICK girl in an image-conscious industry who's ready to shake some shit up and squash haters that attempt to box me in. Because no one but a dog wants a bone, and even Fido wants one with some damn meat on it. It's time for the skinny sense of superiority to end -- for the stronghold to be broken and the grip loosened. Because as a BIG girl with an even BIGGER mouth, I'm ready to lead the WIDE way, make a BOLD statement, especially in Hollywood where the skinny starve their way to stardom while that other FAT lady is waiting to sing. My motto is either love this BIG ass, or see you later, 'bye.