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Sex is the private poetry that flows between two individuals – even if only for the moment – carrying with it a unique signature of communication at its most intimate.It's a physical and emotional union where our most primal expressions of self are laid bare to another being. Soon-to-be-married Marie and Jess have each just gotten off the phone from consoling their single friends, Harry and Sally, who are suffering the tremors of emotional uncertainty brought on by the aftermath of their first sexual encounter together.Afterward, Marie turns to Jess and pleads: "Please tell me I will never have to be out there again! We were familiar with our partner's moves, and we knew what was expected of us. And our needs were – to varying extents, depending on the partnership – being met.Divorce, on the other hand, no matter how common it has become in our society, is still a painful psychological process of denial and acceptance, grief and growth, death and rebirth.How is one to manage both the pain of divorce and the uncertainty of new sexual encounters when dealing with one comes so close upon the heels of the other?Coping with divorce and the prospect of intimate sexual relationships thereafter is like having each foot in a different camp: which deserves the most attention?
And being single again means that you're going to face, in one way or another, the potential of new relationships and their inherent sexuality.And sexuality, for all the self-help manuals that have proliferated in North America over the last few decades, still remains a mystery to some extent." That we understand this sentiment should come as no surprise. After a break-up, however, things are neither "safe" nor predictable.We're not only dealing with a painful recovery process, but we're also wondering if we'll ever have a satisfying relationship – or whether we'll be able to love or be loved – again.
And, as with any strong elixir, the subliminal message reads: handle with care.Unless you left your ex for someone else, break-up usually means being single again.