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10-Dec-2015 08:24

But what if your friends and family don't have anyone to suggest?Then you have to make time to place yourself in optimal environments in order to meet someone.And, on those rare occasions when you do get out, it can be hard to stay calm knowing that if you strike out this time it could be weeks or months before you have another free night! Before she would agree to get together they first IM'd and IM'd and IM'd, then after many follow-up texts, they graduated to countless hours on the phone (Bless him, he even fell asleep during one blab-fest and woke up to realize that she had not noticed and was still mid-monologue), then f i n a l l y progressed to the big meeting -- but she rescheduled, twice... As for equal-opportunity bad behavior: I can attest to tedious disappointment at men who can't stop looking elsewhere even when they have found someone special. He had met her parents and played with her kids, stayed overnight and bought Christmas gifts for the family. I will 'fess up to darkly enjoying my final email to him, on the eve of the date that never happened, on which I cc'd her. About a year ago, I decided to give it a try and ended up wishing that there had been a pre-event screening process. But at least it didn't cost me the time and effort of online dating forays that failed to produce results.Online dating services can help, but they also come with some built-in pitfalls: For women, there is the exhausting bombardment and rude "sexpectations." Of course women already knew this, but hats-off anyway to the man who created a female profile and had his eyes opened to the ugly realities. Real messages too, not spamming, not crass/lazy NSA sex requests, just a nice guy asking a nice gal, or 50 of them, for a date. He netted a big "1," as in UNO, woman willing to meet him. This is not an objection to dating several people before or instead of investing in a relationship, this is about the lying. Online dating and speed dating are good but in different ways, and each have drawbacks. Two great methods that work better together; the result, DYI Speed Dating.

As with the best jobs, the best relationships are often those that you get through referrals.

It's not like the salad days when you could loll around all weekend with a new love interest.

For some of us there are a mere handful of days per month that don't entail a double shift of work followed by family.

Don't believe any dating advice that glosses over that fact.

And, while I don't envy the young ones in this bleak era of hook-ups and hairless vulvas (though signs are pointing to some backlash against that particular trend, mercifully), the truth is it's even tougher for those of us who are no longer bright-eyed and bush-less 20-thru-40-somethings.A moment for our single brethren here: I have it on good authority from at least two and a half decent men (And I am not inclined to create a male dating profile in an attempt to "prove" that they are exaggerating). My singular near-miss at an online-based first date was cancelled on the brink, due to the discovery that my potential guy was in fact the boyfriend of someone whom I knew through work. How to: Put up a dating profile or two, then quickly choose some people to meet.